More Stuff BYU People Like

Ethnic Food

Provo is a melting pot of cultures.  Not to be confused with other melting pots such as Salt Lake or New York, where you will find a gaggle of people from other cultures.  In Provo, you will find plenty of white, young adults who spent a few years abroad and came back cultured.  Often, with a few of their other cultured friends, they’ll rent a space or build a shack to start a restaurant selling the freshest cultured food with ingredients directly from the foreign foods aisle at the local grocery store.  Do you feel like Hmong food tonight? How about something Sri-Lankan?  Perhaps something Dutch? You got it!  But you better hurry since 9 out of 10 of these establishments won’t make it more than a year; especially when they relocate to certain housing complexes guaranteed to alienate their customer base.

Sometimes people consider themselves more cultured than they actually are.  Go ahead and ask someone what their favorite type of food is.  Common answers may include

• “Mexican food is my favorite!  I always get the pork salad at Café Rio!”
• “I love Chinese food so much!  The Orange Chicken at Panda Express is divine!”
• “Most people don’t like sushi, but I don’t know why.  That California Roll was so good!”

That’s hilarious! We all love Mexican Food! Lolz

These people have obviously never been to a Chinese Buffet that reeks of fish and lacks Orange Chicken.  A common rule of thumb with Mexican Food in Provo is that if you don’t find yourself running to the toilet later in the day, it probably wasn’t authentic.

Not Buying Sport’s Passes

The last home football game of the season has passed, and just in time for basketball season!  This means there will be more opportunities for people to borrow your sports pass!  Usually a few days before game day, a few people will begin asking around for passes.  As game day approaches, the pleas will become more desperate and offers of baked goods will be offered (please see previous post about baked goods).  No one ever seems inclined to offer to purchase the pass for that day.  When people do request payment, those seeking are appalled that a friend would make them pay!  Yes, why should they pay for something that someone else paid even more money?  Life is unfair.

Utah Weather

It’s not that people like the weather here . . . except when they do . . . or don’t.  Utah weather is a love/hate relationship, and most people are pretty vocal about it.  Here’s a challenge: the next time you consider looking at forecast, pull up your social media.  Odds are, somebody has already vented about the climate.  Trends commonly follow the four seasons:

• Spring: Pictures of budding flowers and trees, disgust at late winters.
• Summer: #sunsoutgunsout, pictures at the lake, pictures at the top of a mountain, any national park
• Fall: Leaves. Leaves. Leaves. Leaves. Leaves. Leaves. Leaves. Engagement pictures with leaves.
• Winter: First snow of the season. Every time someone goes skiing, black ice

Throughout the year, there will be the occasional, beautiful sunset.  You’ll be able to see this sunset posted online with various filters.  With everyone posting, you’ll never have to go outside and enjoy nature for yourself again!

You can’t get a filter like this outside.  Beautiful!

Stuff BYU People Like

After spending five years as a student in Provo, you become attuned to the peculiarities and odd fixations of the students and people in the area.  However, you don’t need to have spent that long here to notice the Stuff BYU People Like.

If that phrase rings a bell, it’s because it’s a popular knock-off blog of the even more popular blog-made-book Stuff White People Like.  Stuff BYU People Like provided an “in depth exploration” of Provo’s culture and more importantly, a “flagrant mockery” for the same reasons.  Unfortunately, the blog hasn’t been updated since 2011, leaving many readers disappointed.  Yet, the culture continues to churn out clichés and stereotypes that must be addressed.  Here’s my attempt at a few:

The LDS Film Collection

I’m not talking about LDS Cinema (The Single’s Ward, Saints and Soldiers, etc.), but movies that BYU people love to watch.  These include

• The Princess Bride
• Cool Runnings
• The Prince of Egypt
• The Lord of the Rings (be sure to emphasize that it is the extended edition)
• Monty Python
• Frozen/Tangled

And the seasonal favorites:

• Hocus Pocus
• Elf

Most of these films aren’t particularly terrible (keyword most), but like every Maroon 5 song that is overplayed on the radio, these movies are prone to appear as an option for every movie night.

Bonfires

If your summer Facebook feed wasn’t already filled with enough wedding invitations, it was with Bonfire invites.  Majority of these under planned events boast to be the “hottest” party (pun always intended), with the biggest fire and the best people.

More commonly, these parties will consist of the host gathering a plethora of pallets to burn, having no way to transport those pallets and soliciting anyone who owns a truck, never realizing that said pallets are illegal to burn.  Creating a Facebook event (with a googled picture of a bonfire) with an original name:

• Bonfire(!)
• Bonfire Night
• End of Summer Bonfire
• Back to School Bonfire
• Biggest Bonfire Ever
• Bodacious Bonfire (really)
• Fire Friday
• Fireside

Not checking land/property rules and getting shut down by the cops at 10 pm.  Not considering how to put the fire out ahead of time and having to resort to the Boy Scout method.

Don’t be fooled that these are people you know. This image was googled.

Occasionally, these events can balloon into dance parties.  The hosts of these events are usually graduated, hanging around Provo and do summer sales.  They build up hype for the event by advertising a DJ only known by close friends and family who encourage him to pursue his dream.  That dream remains unreachable with names like DJ Fizbo, DJ Puff, PBaby, and Kevin.  These parties can be a bit edgier: tank tops, NCMO’s, and coolers of Red Bull.

If you missed any of these over the summer, just wait for a “Winter Wonderland Bonfire” invitation.

Baked Goods

Odds are, you’ve been the recipient of baked goods for either doing a good deed or just for living in the vicinity of someone who loves to bake.  No harm in the occasional plate of cookies.  For many, it is what brings people together on weekends and in matrimony.  It is when these palatable plates are used as bargaining tools in return for something greater when they become problematic.

Holidays and the end of the school year bring people to the airport.  Facebook feeds become filled with requests to be taken to the airport – from Provo, the whole trip would take approximately 2 hours.  If it fits my schedule, I have no problem helping people out if they are willing to pay for gas.  However, instead of gas money, people are more prone to offer baked goods.  Brownies won’t fill the gas tank!  To me this sounds like

“Hey, can you give me a ride to the airport? I’ll help you put on a few pounds if you do.”

What about taking the frontrunner which goes directly to the airport?  “But that’s expensive . . .” is commonly the response. Well so is driving there.

These can be all yours . . . for a price

What are some other activities for which baked goods can be used as payment?

• Sport’s passes
• Moving a piano
• Breaking up with someone for someone else
• Giving up your Star Wars movie ticket