Valentines

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It’s that time of year again; when the lines are drawn for one of the most divisive standoffs of the year that is even more intense than the #teamedward/#teamjacob debate of the Twilight era, more trivial than the blue/gold dress debate of 2015, and more petty than the current Republican debates.  It’s the time of year when couples and single people face off: couples going overboard to profess their love (of not being single) and single people counteracting by trying to prove how great it is to be a young millennial who can do anything without being tied down.

From Provo, Utah, these lines are made even more inflated by the articles in BYU’s Valentine’s edition newspaper.  The week of the holiday, multiple stories can be found from the perspective of the marrieds, and the rebuttal of the singles.  Past pro-marriage articles have included favorites such as “I do at BYU” and “Tying the knot in College,” which use statistics and quotes to dishonor those still frolicking in singularity.  Married students are highlighted and classified as “part of the 25 percent of married students on campus,” The “1%,” anyone? They also give out unsolicited advice such as encouraging their single friends to get married so they can start hanging out again.

To show that being single still has its advantages, articles have been written in past years about this wild and fun crowd that include “Single’s Awareness: The Five Stages of Breaking Up,” and “Relationship status impacts self-image” . . . Hmm, actually, maybe more current articles work as better rebuttals: “Students experience three levels of dating fears” and “Studies show negative effects of hookups.”  Uh . . .

What do statistics and data know anyways?  Let’s take a look at the actual night of Valentines.  While couples are dressing up, going out, and feeding each other fondue, singles are hosting their own, themed parties.  Maybe you might have been invited to one of them:

  • Lonely Hearts Club
  • Broken Heart’s Party
  • SAD (Single’s Awareness Day) Party
  • Swipe Right for Awesomeness! (Not sure what exactly will happen here)
  • Galantines Day (Girls going off in groups and leaving men even more alone)
  • We’re Lonely and Have No one to Turn to (Not very subtle)
  • EPIC Dance Party! (Because a weekend in Provo wouldn’t be complete without a dance party)

Most of these parties include baked goods, party games (mafia, smurf, manner of the adverb, etc.), and small talk.  These parties usually finish up when either the food is gone or curfew is met.

In the midst of this clash, there are many who change their allegiance by the next day.  These turncoats may begin the night amongst single friends, but slowly leave as a couple to do their own thing.  By the next morning, you discover that they are now engaged to be married, never to be seen apart again.  If you want to play a fun party game, take bets with your friends on how many engagements will show up on tomorrow’s Facebook feed.

Valentine’s Day is a day of celebration.  It’s up to you what you are celebrating though: Independence or togetherness? Perhaps by next year, you can set resolution’s to either have someone to be with, or throw the largest Anti-Valentine’s party on the block.

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